TOW The Love We All Secretly Wish We Find
by spiralnebulaM31
Summary: Monica and Chandler became a couple after being friends for ten years and I'm sure they are still happily married, living with their kids. Let's explore some of the days they have spent together...
1. Day 4

A.N.: This is an idea I have had for a long time, I just couldn't find enough time to try writing it (not that now I have a lot of free time, I just couldn't resist writing whatever came to my mind). Several little Monica and Chandler scenes are popping out in my head, but that doesn't mean I am able to write all of them exactly as they should be written. That's for the readers (if any) to find out. I will write about some of their days together. Counting the day (the night) they slept together in London as day 1, the next day, the day of the wedding, would be day 2. So the day they got back to New York was day 3. This chapter is about day 4.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

-M&C-

**Day 4**

Ross was still in London trying to talk to Emily. Rachel was in Greece, waiting for an available flight back home. Phoebe had gone to her brother's house and she would stay there for a few days. Joey called the previous night telling them his date had gone extremely well and he wouldn't be home for a couple of days. Monica and Chandler both had one more day off work. This was perfect.

They had fallen asleep in Monica's bedroom, tired from the day's activities. They had spent the entire day being together, reviving that London night again and again and again. They just couldn't get enough of each other.

It was about ten in the morning when Chandler woke up. He opened his eyes and the last few days' events started coming back to his mind. Monica was asleep in his arms. He felt content. He felt things he wasn't sure he should be feeling. It was too soon. Everything had happened so fast. But this felt right. It felt so right. He decided not to think too much about his growing feelings. He would see what this day would bring to them. Maybe he wouldn't need to make any sort of plan. Maybe everything would be better than he ever thought it would be. He was surprised at himself. When was the last time he had been so optimistic? He watched her sleeping for a few minutes and got up, trying not to wake her.

He was starving. He had an idea. He would make his famous pancakes, a recipe he had once discovered and it was literally the only thing he could cook successfully. He would make Monica a great breakfast, even if she wanted to kill him afterwards for invading into her kitchen.

Monica started waking up when she heard noises coming from the kitchen. _It's probably Rachel_, she thought and turned around, making herself comfortable at the side of the bed that Chandler had been sleeping about half an hour ago. She was suddenly wide awake, realizing that Chandler was the one in the kitchen, not Rachel. The pillow she was now laying on smelled like him. This simple fact awakened all her senses and made her want to be near him again. They had spent the previous day having sex and all she could think about was that she wanted him again. What would he think about her if he knew all the things she wanted to do to him; all the things she wanted him to do to her? She shook those thoughts away and got up. She was nervous; she hadn't been that nervous for a long time. But she was also excited.

"Good morning." Monica said as she got out of her bedroom.

Chandler looked up with a grin. "Good morning", he answered looking down on the pancakes again. He didn't see the concerned look that covered her face.

"How long have you been up?" she asked, not going into the kitchen. She had a weird feeling seeing him preparing breakfast at her place. She was a little irritated that he had somehow taken control of her kitchen, but at the same time it didn't bother her at all; she felt like letting him take care of her and not be the hostess for once. She had hardly ever wanted something like that, but this time it felt real and unique.

"Not very long." He looked at her again and smiled.

That smile was enough to make her forget everything for a moment and, smiling back, she headed to the bathroom.

When she finally went into the kitchen, Chandler had already finished the pancakes and was setting the table. She leaned up to give him a soft kiss on the lips which turned more passionate once he put his hands on her waist and pulled her body closer to his. After a couple of minutes Chandler pulled away reluctantly and whispered against her lips. "My awesome pancakes are getting cold." They sat at the table and started eating.

"Your awesome pancakes are still awesome!" She smiled.

"I know! Thanks babe." He kicked himself for not thinking before speaking. The terms of endearment kept slipping away. It felt so normal, but he wasn't sure how she would take it if he continued calling her "baby" or "sweetie" every time they were alone together. If he hadn't looked down embarrassed, he would have seen her not being able to hold back a genuine smile.

-M&C-

"This is kind of awkward." Monica said as they were standing next to each other washing the plates together.

"I think it's awkward mainly because we think it should be." Chandler looked at her and gave her one of those smiles again.

"What do you mean?" She had just finished washing the last plate and gave it to him to dry it off.

"I mean that it would be fine if we didn't think about it that much. If we continued behaving normally to each other, like we did all day yesterday." Chandler tried to explain what was going on in his mind. It wasn't that easy since he already wanted to kiss her again. In fact, "kiss" was the under-aged version of what he wanted to do to her.

"We were having sex all day yesterday!" She laughed as she turned to face him.

"Oh yeah!" A dreamy expression took over his face and he continued. "But we were ourselves the whole time, weren't we? We didn't have to pretend or try to be like other people. It was just you and me and it was amazing!"

"That's true." She looked down feeling more and more nervous as the seconds went by.

He sensed her nervousness and felt so much affection towards her. He placed his fingers on her chin and slowly lifted her face. Their eyes met and both their hearts were beating like crazy. "Mon, why are you this nervous? It's only me."

"Well, yeah! That's why! How can you NOT be nervous?" She touched his hand that was still on her chin and she entwined their fingers before he answered. "Believe me, I am! But you know what?"

"What?" Monica asked. She couldn't keep her eyes off him. She wondered what had changed so suddenly; what made her see this slightly different version of Chandler.

"I can make it completely NOT awkward in a matter of seconds." His eyes never left hers and that moment they were the only two people in the world.

"How?" She had an inkling of what was going to happen, but she still wasn't certain if Chandler would keep on being so wonderful. She had to make sure somehow.

"Like this." He took her face in his hands and captured her lips in a deep loving kiss. She put her hands around his neck caressing his nape, and his traveled to her back drawing her even closer to his body.

Pulling away slowly Chandler looked into her eyes again. He felt unusually relaxed holding her in his arms, but also anxious to continue whatever this was in the bedroom. "Chandler…" Monica still had her eyes closed and she was afraid that if she opened them this perfect moment would turn out to be an illusion. "You were right", she admitted.

"I was what?" Chandler was shocked she had aknowledged that someone else apart from her was right.

"When we kiss it really isn't awkward." This time Monica didn't look down, but kept her eyes on his.

"Told you!" He smiled and started giving her little pecks on the lips. "Now" *kiss* "how about" *kiss* "we go to your bedroom?"

"And do what we did yesterday?" She winked at him playfully.

"If you mean earth-shattering, world-shaking sex, then yes!" He lifted her into his arms and walked towards the bedroom.

Monica laughed. "I wouldn't have phrased it like that, but I like the way you think." Any nervous feelings she may had before were gone and all she wanted was to experience that familiar intimacy with him again. She had no idea where this would go, but at that moment she was sure Chandler longed for the exact same thing. And that was enough.

-M&C-

A.N.: This was my first attempt to write a Mondler story… Thanks for reading it! Should I continue writing? I have some cute ideas for more chapters/days!


	2. Day 5

A.N.: Thank you all so much for the reviews! To be honest, I wasn't expecting people reading and liking my story. I hope you like this chapter, too! I really enjoyed writing it!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

* * *

**Day 5**

Monica and Chandler were asleep in each other's arms. The sound of the alarm woke them up. That was the day they had to go back to work.

They were eating breakfast when Joey burst in happily and started recounting the events of the previous days. Ten minutes later Phoebe came in announcing that her brother's house looked funny and she didn't intent on spending more time there. She was excited to let them know she would try to spend every minute of her day with the rest of them again. Ten minutes later Rachel called to say she finally managed to book a flight for the following week. She sounded cheerful. Suddenly Ross appeared at the door asking if they thought it was okay that he planned to keep calling Emily for as long as he needed, until she talked to him. Rachel heard him through the phone. She sounded disappointed for the rest of the call.

Until Chandler left for work and Monica started cleaning the kitchen, they knew their everyday lives were back and they included all of their friends. So, if they wanted to make this thing between them work and also keep it a secret, they had to be very careful.

Monica had a normal day at work. This meant it was bad. As she was walking home she asked herself once again why she kept working there. And once again she remembered that she loved her job in spite of all the people who tried to make her life miserable at the restaurant. At least she would see Chandler and that thought gave her butterflies in her stomach and made her walk towards her apartment a little faster. Monica had a lunch shift, which meant that she would be home by eight, and Chandler had called and said the bored employees left a lot of work for him, so he would be home about the same time as her.

* * *

Monica entered apartment 20 feeling tired and impatient.

"Hi Mon!" Phoebe and Ross said together from their seats at the living room..

"Hi. I see you've both made yourselves at home." Monica said sarcastically when she saw them; Phoebe was sitting comfortably on the couch eating what looked like two slices of two different pizzas like a sandwich and Ross was sitting on the arm of the armchair looking down on a big bowl that contained the leftover mac and cheese Monica had made for her and Chandler the previous evening.

"Yeah, your mac and cheese is great!" Ross kept looking at the bowl, not noticing Monica's sarcastic tone. "We also ordered pizzas; a regular one and a weird one for Phoebe."

"It's not weird, when did bananas become weird?" Phoebe looked insulted.

"A banana on a pizza IS pretty weird, especially when you mix it with the cheese of the other one. And I guess it tastes weird, too." Ross made a face at that thought and closed his eyes to stop seeing Phoebe eat her disgusting double-pizza.

"Yummmm!" Phoebe tried to emphasize how good it tasted.

Neither of them noticed that Monica had started gathering the things they had left on the floor.

"What happened to the phone?" She asked kneeling and looking under the couch.

"Oh, it's still here, in my pocket!" Ross took the phone of his pocket and threw it to her.

"What's my phone doing in your pocket?" She caught it clumsily giving him an annoyed look.

"I was trying to reach Emily, but she's still not picking up." He said in a sorrowful voice.

"Oh, OH! You should keep trying!" Phoebe exclaimed excitedly.

"Have you been drinking?" Monica asked Ross when she saw an empty bottle of wine on the floor next to the armchair.

"He has! And I think he has transferred drunk vides to me; I've only drunk some orange juice and I feel so hyper!" Phoebe couldn't contain her excitement. She realized that she had really missed her friends and the comfortable environment they provided for her, even if she had been away for only a couple of days.

Suddenly, Joey entered. "Hey! What's for dinner? Banana pizza mixed with cheese pizza, great!" Grabbing two double pieces, he sat on the couch.

"Joey, plate! And please be careful where you're sitting on." Monica said from the kitchen. She was trying hard not to shout at any of them. This was getting out of hand. Joey had just sat on a paper cup.

"Good evening little ones!" Chandler greeted everyone and scanned the room for Monica's eyes. He smiled at her and mouthed a silent "hey". Despite the fatigue and anger she was feeling, she couldn't help but smile back.

Chandler saw behind her tiny smile and noticed her weary eyes. "What's wrong?" He directed the question to her, ignoring everyone else.

"Why do you think something's wrong?" She looked down immediately.

"Because I can see you?" Chandler was next to her in a second.

"Nothing's wrong." She said, obviously not persuading him, and continued washing the dishes.

"Do you need any help?" A few tears started falling from her eyes. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Hey hey hey it's okay Mon, has something happened at work?" She nodded. "Is that it?" She nodded again.

"Mon I'm so sorry… I can… Can you… Oh my god I'm so drunk!" Ross tried to go to her to apologize and explain himself, but he realized he couldn't walk straight.

"Sorry Mon…" Joey said between bites.

"Monica if you want you can have the half-done baby shoe I've knitted! Of course it would easily remind you that you want a baby when you don't even have a boyfriend…" The words came out of Phoebe's mouth before she figured out they would hurt Monica. Monica run to the bathroom crying.

"I think that's enough Phoebs!" Chandler said trying to keep himself calm.

"I was just trying to help!" She really didn't intent to be mean.

"Joey, can you please take Ross home? I can stay with Mon to see if she feels better." Chandler tried to sound less concerned than he actually was.

"Sure, it's on my way anyway! Beef tacos and a hot date ten minutes from his place!" Joey and Ross left; Ross leaning on Joey for support as they walked to the door.

"I should probably go to, the babies need sleep. And more food…" Phoebe left them alone.

Chandler went to the bathroom door and knocked softly. "Mon… Are you okay?" He sounded worried.

"Have they all left?" He was sure Monica had been crying the whole time she was in there.

"Yes, it's only us." Chandler heard Monica wash her face and then she came out of the door.

"It's not only work stuff, is it?" Chandler guessed she had a rough time at work that day, but he sensed that something had gone wrong before he arrived at apartment 20.

"No." She lied and began walking towards the sink.

"Do you want to tell me?" Chandler was sure she wanted to get it all off her chest and she was just stubborn and tired.

Monica realized he was going to be there for her, even if her reasons for being sad weren't too important. She fell into his arms and buried her face in his neck. He started rubbing soothing circles on her back while she talked to him. "My shift was a nightmare! The last few days were so… we had so much fun and I hadn't brought myself to think about returning to work, so I was suddenly around people who pretty much hate me and they didn't do anything really mean to me today, but it was such an unexpected change. I mean, being surrounded by people who don't like you at all after being with someone who… after being with you… And then I come home and everyone has their own problems and everyone is doing their own things at MY apartment and they don't even look at me to see if I'm okay. And then you come in and… Do you know you were the only one to notice that something was wrong with me?" She was sobbing again when she pulled away a little to look at him.

Chandler kept holding her securely in his arms. "Mon, you know how our friends can be sometimes. And I'm not trying to make excuses or something, but think about this: we spent the last two days having sex and we didn't thought of anyone else, not once! Did we not care if they were alright? Of course we did! We were just too absorbed in OUR activities. That happens to everyone sometimes…"

"But…" The tears had already stopped falling. She had a pensive look on her face. She was ready to argue, but he put a finger on her lips.

"Okay, before you have a chance to start defending your opinion, I want to suggest something." She didn't say anything, but waited for him to continue. "How about you take a relaxing bath and I finish the dishes and gather all the stuff lying around?"

"What will we do next?" A tiny smile made its appearance and a ray of hope and excitement floored her heart.

"Whatever you want." He smiled, too, and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Okay." She actually cringed at the idea of silently giving him the permission to tidy her living room and wash her dishes; that wasn't something Monica Geller was used to doing. But, inexplicably, she was ready to do that with Chandler.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Chandler asked Monica when he saw her walk out of the bathroom. She was only wearing a robe and seemed to be completely relaxed.

"Mhmm…" She smiled seeing him sitting on the couch also in a robe. "Thanks." She was standing there, lost in her thoughts. He looked so adorable! She loved just hanging out with him before and sometimes cuddling, but now she wanted so much more. Fortunately, his voice interrupted the scary thoughts that filled her mind, telling her it was too soon.

"I'm watching a movie, do you want to join me?" He placed his arm at the back of the couch suggestively and she lost no time in sitting against his side and placing her head on his shoulder.

* * *

The movie was about to end and Monica had fallen asleep half on Chandler, half on the couch.

"Mon. Mon. Mon come on, go to bed." Chandler nudged her gently.

"Noooo…" She tightened the arm she had around his torso and took a deep breath inhaling his scent.

"Mon you're practically sleeping on me." Chandler kissed her head and caressed her back.

"Sorry…" Monica looked at him with sleepy eyes.

"No need to apologize, I just think you'd be more comfortable in bed." He loved seeing this vulnerable side of her. They had spent numerous nights watching TV in each other's arms before, but now it was different.

"I'm quite comfortable here." She raised her eyebrows and smiled timidly at him.

"Oh come on, just go, I'll be there once this thing is over, in like ten minutes. I really want to see what happens to this weird guy." Chandler was looking at the screen again while stroking her back at the same time.

"What?" Monica was surprised.

"What?" Chandler asked, not understanding what she was wondering.

"You'll be there?" She longed for his presence in her bed again, but she was under the impression that if she went to bed alone their night together would be over.

Chandler realized what he had said. "Yeah! Unless you don't want me to… I mean- " He felt so insecure. He knew what he wanted, but he still wasn't sure about what she wanted. He wanted to spend the night with her even if they just literally slept together.

Now it was Chandler's turn to be surprised. She jumped up and kissed him hard. "I'll be waiting for you!" Then she disappeared into her bedroom.

" 'K!" Chandler was still in shock. He sensed that she liked being with him, too, but he didn't expect her to be so enthusiastic about it.

A few minutes later the movie was over and Chandler went to Monica's bedroom. He got under the covers and snuggled close to her.

"Chandler" Monica whispered.

"Hey, I thought you were asleep." He was glad she was awake. He had missed her. He thought it was stupid, since he was with her less than ten minutes ago. But he missed HER, he missed making love to her for hours and having all those newfound feelings that made him all giddy inside.

"Did the weird guy live happily ever after?" She adjusted her body, so that their eyes were on the same level.

"If you count catching the bad guys and marrying the woman he was in love with as happy." He joked.

"I'm not sleepy anymore!" She announced cheerfully and started kissing his jawline.

"That's-" He gasped when she put her hand in his boxers. "-good!"

They both knew they had a long passionate night ahead of them.

* * *

A.N.: I hope you don't judge me for the way I've treated the other characters; I just think stuff like that happen all the time between friends (that doesn't mean they don't care about each other, sometimes they just stop paying attention to every detail in each other's lives). And the reason I made Monica a bit angry with them was because she was already tired from work and she just wanted some attention from people who loved her. Also, Monica was controlling about her cleaning and the stuff in her apartment, but do you remember the times she let Chandler clean or change something in the apartment? The changes weren't that many, but it was a huge step for Monica. I think day 5 isn't too soon for a step like that, since she had already known Chandler for a decade and was comfortable with him. Enough with the author's note, I'm afraid it's going to look longer than the chapter itself!


	3. Day 15

**A.N.: This is the day Phoebe gave birth to the triplets. The chapter starts at night, when Monica and Chandler got home from the hospital.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.**

* * *

**Day 15**

When Chandler walked into apartment 20, Monica was sitting on the couch facing away from the door. The TV was on, but her gaze was fixed on something he couldn't see. She jumped when she heard the door close.

"Sorry…" Chandler smiled apologetically and sat next to her on the couch.

"It's okay." Monica said with a far-off look on her face which proved that she was deep in thought.

"Are YOU okay?" Chandler asked. It had been a crazy day. They had originally planned to go on a trip to Atlantic City, but they ended up going to the hospital instead. Phoebe had given birth to her brother's babies, Joey had his kidney stones painfully removed, and Monica and Chandler had redefined the term "goofing around". Chandler was under the impression that they were okay -Monica had said so herself- and he hoped she still wanted to spend more time with him. A perfect opportunity was given to them that night since Joey was still at the hospital, as well as Rachel who had stayed with Phoebe.

"Yeah…" She nodded. Chandler knew something was going on. Could it be that she decided she didn't want to be with him? He could feel the tension between them and it was not a good kind of tension. She could simply be tired; he felt exhausted only thinking about someone having three babies… Not one, not two, but three! _Oh my God, that must be it, she saw all those women waiting to give birth or leaving the hospital with their newborns and she's sad again._

He switched off the TV. He was sure he got it right, so he dared to ask her. "Is it the babies? The last time we were to a hospital waiting for a baby to be born you were… disappointed."

She shot him an annoyed glare. "That's not it. But now THAT's all I can think about!" Her eyes softened when she suddenly recalled a moment between them three years ago. "And just so you know, I still remember your offer."

"You mean what I told you the day Ben was born? You remember that?" Chandler asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Monica asked as she took one of his hands and started playing with his fingers.

"I just thought you thought I was kidding." He looked at their joined hands and avoided her eyes. The insecurity that had haunted him that morning, when he believed she would go out with the nurse-man, was back. It used to come and go regularly those days. One moment she would say or do something that made him feel like a god. But on the next moment he would remember all those times people had neglected and abandoned him and he reminded himself not to read too much into her seemingly growing affection towards him.

Monica stared at him, silently expecting to meet his eyes, but he kept looking down. Her mind went to that day. She was so desperate to have a child of her own; she had wanted this since she was a little girl. She had found Chandler so adorable and so immature at the same time, so when he said that, she really thought there was no way he could be serious. So much had changed during the following years… "I did at first, but then I saw the way you smiled at me when I was holding Ben for the first time. And then I started observing some other stuff that I hadn't seen before and they made me realize that you would really do it if I asked you."

"What stuff?" He finally looked up and met her gaze.

"I don't know, it's just… Have you ever thought about how we connect with each other?" He smiled suggestively and she wondered how she had been able to resist that stunning smile before. "And I don't mean that necessarily in a more-than-friends way." She added as he leaned closer and took her in his arms.

"I know what you mean. We get each other. Oh my God, we've known each other for ten years, haven't we?" The realization hit him and he kept holding her wondering how she could affect him so easily. Just holding her close relaxed him and made him feel things he had never felt with any other woman. What if she didn't feel the same way? He drew the thought away and brushed his lips on her forehead.

Monica reveled at the feeling of being wrapped in his arms. She was so mad at him that morning and she couldn't even recall why. Neither did she recall the reason for being anxious before he started the baby discussion. Was he really talking about having a baby with her some time in the future? "Why isn't the baby discussion freaking you out? I'm glad it doesn't, but you're awfully calm and it's a little scary!"

"I guess it's because we're talking about a hypothetical situation that could take place in at least 12 years from now. And I don't think you'll ever be in a situation like that anyway." _Freak out. Freak out now! Man, why did you say those things? Are you crazy?_

"But if I was, would you do it for me?" She asked him with the hint of a smile.

"Yes, I would." _Well, you're crazy about HER, that's for sure. _"So… We've established that I would have a baby with you if neither of us is married when we're forty. If you let me. Would you do something like that for me if I asked you?"

"Why would you ask me that?" She was teasing him and she liked it. She had to do it carefully though or that new-found state of calm he was in would possibly vanish.

"Hypothetically Mon!" He faked exasperation in his tone, but the gentle caress on her cheek let her know he wasn't annoyed.

"I know… I… I can't think about me not having kids someday. I would definitely do it, I mean, I would be forty, I wouldn't have much time left…" She answered honestly and regretted it immediately. "That came out wrong. It's just really important to me. I can't imagine my future without kids."

"I understand. Besides, I was the one who brought it up, sorry…" His voice trailed off and she could sense his discomfort.

She knew she had to reassure him that it was okay. Having kids was one of her biggest dreams, but he had nothing to feel sorry about, he just wanted to be there for her whatever happened. "You don't have to apologize. You know, you've already made me feel a little better."

"Really? How?" A confident smirk appeared on Chandler's face and she wondered how he managed to do it: one moment he was her insecure vulnerable friend and the next one he was that amazing man who made her go week in the knees only with a slight touch.

"By being here. By doing this." Monica motioned at the distance between their bodies, which couldn't have been more than two inches.

He kept smiling before he got serious again. "So, what were you really thinking about before?"

"And suddenly I'm back to not feeling so good." _Why did he have to bring that up? _She suddenly lowered her gaze, but didn't try to move away from him.

"What's wrong?" He gently lifted her chin to resume eye contact. "Mon?"

She had to say it eventually, she just couldn't bring herself to do so. "I don't think we can sleep together tonight. Or any of the following nights."

That was it. The moment Chandler dreaded for the last fifteen days. The moment she announced to him that there wouldn't be a 'them' ever again. Only that time had been the only time he believed that they wouldn't have to end whatever that was, that they could be something more. "Oh… You- Are you sure?"

"Well yes- oh my God, NO! I didn't mean… Not ALL of the following nights! I just got my period…" Monica's voice sounded as panicked as Chandler felt.

Chandler left a sigh of relief and remained silent for a couple of minutes, trying to process what had just happened. "Is that it? Then why were you so uncomfortable about it?"

_If only I knew!_ "Because! It's still uncomfortable talking about it, so can we please drop it?"

"Yes, of course, but you know you don't have to feel uncomfortable around me about stuff like this. We've been neighbors forever, I don't need to know any details or anything, but even Joey knew if it was this time of the month for both you and Rachel!" And what he just said was completely true, although sometimes he would prefer not to know so much about his female friends. With Monica it was different though. They had experienced numerous kinds of sexual situations during the last two weeks and he already felt that he knew her body like the back of his hand.

Monica realized that the reason she was extremely nervous was that she didn't want to drive him away by making him uneasy. "I know, but now it feels different somehow."

"Don't worry about it, okay? So, why can't we sleep together? I mean literally sleep together? Rachel and Joey aren't here, we don't have to hide. And the truth is we both need a good night's sleep!" He said stifling a yawn.

Monica laid her head on his chest. Of course she wanted to spend the night with him, but she wasn't ready to end their alone time to sleep. "Mmm… Do you want to watch a movie first?"

"Sure." Chandler wrapped his arms tighter around her while she was changing the channels.

* * *

"How can someone do that?" Monica broke the silence. She was comfortably laying her head on Chandler's shoulder and he had his arm around her.

"How can someone do that in their wedding?" Chandler shot back. They were in the middle of a silly comedy and a guy had said the wrong name during sex.

"Good point… But I just don't get it. There's nothing more intimate than being with someone like that. What's the point if you don't feel close with this person you share this experience with? Even if it's just a fling or something wouldn't you want to be right there with them? And not just physically, but mentally, too."

"I know I would. You have never done something like that, have you?" He wore an uncertain expression, half joking, half seriously asking her.

"No! Have you ever done something like that?" She turned to look at him. The movie was already forgotten.

"I thought of about four jokes in two seconds, but they wouldn't really be appropriate, so I'll proceed to tell you the honest answer which is no, I haven't done anything like that." He answered, laughing freely at his own thoughts.

She laughed with him and wondered what his jokes could have been. "One of the jokes you thought, was it that thinking about someone else during sex is what you've been doing with me from the start?"

"Oh yeah." He chuckled. "And the fact that you know me too well and apparently I can read every thought on your mind, too-" Monica grinned at that as he continued "-leads us to another problem. I only want you for myself right now. And I want you to want the same thing." Chandler surprised himself by how straightforward he was being with her. Maybe it was the exhaustion he felt, maybe it was her incredible blue eyes that seemed to bore into his soul, maybe both.

"Chandler…" Monica felt her breath catching in her throat. For the second time that day, something he said had her more excited than she'd ever dreamed possible. _Who knew that Chandler Bing could be so good with words?_

"Think about it. It's what we talked about in the hospital. It's the exact opposite of what happened in the movie. How could we be making love thinking about someone else? Could we keep sharing intimate moments if someone else was on our way?" The second he said 'making love' he realized he hadn't kissed her lips since this morning. An undeniable urge was growing inside him and suddenly he felt very energetic, as if he'd just drunk five cups of coffee.

"I don't think so. Until now we've managed to keep things pretty good just by ourselves. So, we continue letting everything be this way?" Monica agreed with him. That was the confirmation they both needed to carry on being in a secret relationship, although neither of them had the courage to declare the word 'relationship' yet.

"That sounds good." Chandler crashed his lips to hers and Monica slowly intensified the kiss, both of them seeking the familiarity and the enticing passion their kisses always held.

* * *

**A.N.: Thanks for reading and for the reviews on the previous chapter! As I was writing this I realized this fanfic is really only imaginary dialogues that turn into short scenes, but I just want to share this with other Mondler fans, so I'll continue writing whenever I have time and inspiration. As for the discussions Monica and Chandler have in this chapter, maybe you'll think it was too early for them to be talking about such things, but they've known each other for so long and I believe they've always been comfortable with each other. I imagine them having deep conversations even as friends. After all I subtly tried to show their insecurities and doubts and I hope that's at least a little obvious. I would really appreciate it if you left me a review!**


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